I am in one of my most abusive moods and yes, I shall also take advantage of the fact that my hormones can reach their peak and subside slow, thanks to oops baby.
What is this other gender filled with or made of? I am in no way going to say that XX gender is filled with vain and tenderness and care and love and selfless - bullshit in its own way in certain aspects. But XY gender is made up of, god knows what, out there.
The men who so badly sometimes make me wild but also love a lot in my life - My dad, my newly wed husband.
The man who has been oh-so-gentle, so far - My fil. Its true that I hardly know him but he has shown a lot of gentleness and dignity that obviously brings back the trust in me for men about some air of improvement.
The men who have been there to provide me humor, intellect, interests, sense of security and no consciousness of the gender difference - Few friends right from school to my previous work-place. Did not meet any such interesting men in college but it hardly matters.
The man whom I want to crush to death using a dinosaur - The *o** because he does not have the balls to use his common sense or empathize or appreciate or support. He can only behave like a robot.
I hate men who are MCPs. And I shall in no way take it lying low. And so should not any self-respecting person.
My man is a man in the true sense. Fun, smart, sharp, lazy, with a temper and also filled with so much logic that he can never easily get why women cry or laugh or yearn or nag. He sometimes has what Hermione rightly said - emotional range of a teaspoon. And yes, he can make me laugh and go wild as well. I sometimes wonder I married him and sometimes I so very well know the reason.
I so wish I knew Karan Johar type and had a best friend like him. No, I do not think he is gay - I just feel he can see beyond the emotional teaspoon range.
However, if there was a choice to skip marriage, I might have opted that as well. This blog is not going to cover the men who interested me or who got interested in me in the romantic sense. And that is because life is not about romance only and people behave different when in love. Maybe it is drugged.
I need to see how life shapes up with its swift changes and consequences in my lifestyle. I wonder how my personality will shape up in the coming years. But I know one thing for sure - marriage is sure a great teacher.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Desire deeply for some immediate changes for the long term
Work, first and foremost desired change - Would like a work nature that is just perfectly tailor-made for me and gives me perfect balance of home-work adjustment and sync, finance, freedom, moral boost, true friendship and creativity.
Health, again first and foremost desired change - Would like me and my new family member and spouse to be in good health mentally and physically ALWAYS. I pray for my family too.
Relationships, again first and foremost desired change - Smooth, peaceful, happy, satisfying, extremely supportive, sincere, ego-less, transparent with privacy in its own way for both the people involved... be it with mil or sil or fil or with parents or siblings or spouse or friends or colleagues or acquaintances or new relations that would be formed in future.
Married life, again first and foremost desired change - Smooth, balanced, fun, exciting, peaceful, happy, satisfying, sincere, ego-less, transparent with privacy in its own way FOREVER for both the people involved.
Parenting - An art that I home to master intuitively along with mastering the art of being the perfect wife/sil/dil/daughter/sister. I want to bring up a normal child who would always get its attention from its parents. And I hope the things that make up my life around will fall in place perfectly.
My own personal side - I sincerely hope life allows me to focus on that in addition to all the above aspects.
I hope my spouse gets his share of satisfactions from life forever in all aspects. Same for my family. Possible if there are no conflicts. Definitely possible.
I sincerely pray that all my prayers are answered SOON. Life would become more meaningful.
Health, again first and foremost desired change - Would like me and my new family member and spouse to be in good health mentally and physically ALWAYS. I pray for my family too.
Relationships, again first and foremost desired change - Smooth, peaceful, happy, satisfying, extremely supportive, sincere, ego-less, transparent with privacy in its own way for both the people involved... be it with mil or sil or fil or with parents or siblings or spouse or friends or colleagues or acquaintances or new relations that would be formed in future.
Married life, again first and foremost desired change - Smooth, balanced, fun, exciting, peaceful, happy, satisfying, sincere, ego-less, transparent with privacy in its own way FOREVER for both the people involved.
Parenting - An art that I home to master intuitively along with mastering the art of being the perfect wife/sil/dil/daughter/sister. I want to bring up a normal child who would always get its attention from its parents. And I hope the things that make up my life around will fall in place perfectly.
My own personal side - I sincerely hope life allows me to focus on that in addition to all the above aspects.
I hope my spouse gets his share of satisfactions from life forever in all aspects. Same for my family. Possible if there are no conflicts. Definitely possible.
I sincerely pray that all my prayers are answered SOON. Life would become more meaningful.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
If this has been one of the most mind-boggling days at my work place, it is so. Not just the project but also on the people who work with me and are part of the team that I work in.
Imagine coming to work and not having a friendly, ego-clash-less face to smile and say hello or exchange pleasantries or travel woes.
Imagine also the situation where the manager is a pain-point with the fellow tracking your 8 hours at work
However, even on the personal front, it is quite mind-boggling. To sum up, still trying to get a hold on new lifestyle and freedom with set boundaries.
Imagine coming to work and not having a friendly, ego-clash-less face to smile and say hello or exchange pleasantries or travel woes.
Imagine also the situation where the manager is a pain-point with the fellow tracking your 8 hours at work
However, even on the personal front, it is quite mind-boggling. To sum up, still trying to get a hold on new lifestyle and freedom with set boundaries.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Am married for 2 months and 2 weeks and am pregnant
Well, yes, there it is. Am happy but am very confused because both of us were not prepared for it. Now we are preparing ourselves to embrace it. No point in thinking or talking about what we could have done etc. Am carrying a life within me now. :) Bow thy head and accept what is coming thy way, or rather our way.
It is still too early and the news shall only be shared with the whole wide world after few more months. But every minute and every day coming ahead, I am realizing that my life will no longer be in my control. Or who knows, it will get into my control better.
J is getting into the role of husband NOW and precisely now is when this change happens. Marital bliss as a couple seems short-lived but then its too early to speculate or contemplate.
The first words we exchanged were - "Not sure if its supposed to make us happy or sad." :D Being practical is how I see it.
I am finding this as a pleasant surprise and also a shock coz I had so many plans and I was so sure I wanted a baby only after my first year of marriage. Man proposes, God disposes.
"All is well."
It is still too early and the news shall only be shared with the whole wide world after few more months. But every minute and every day coming ahead, I am realizing that my life will no longer be in my control. Or who knows, it will get into my control better.
J is getting into the role of husband NOW and precisely now is when this change happens. Marital bliss as a couple seems short-lived but then its too early to speculate or contemplate.
The first words we exchanged were - "Not sure if its supposed to make us happy or sad." :D Being practical is how I see it.
I am finding this as a pleasant surprise and also a shock coz I had so many plans and I was so sure I wanted a baby only after my first year of marriage. Man proposes, God disposes.
"All is well."
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Lessons learnt post-marraige - Episode 2 - J bday special
To blog on what happened after that tiff, I find it childish. Nonetheless, it is good to blog as it would help me remember how we resolved it and celebrated his first bday post-marriage.
J tried to get me out of my shell as much as possible. I was behaving my usual self busying myself with the usual chores at home because its only between the two of us. However, the tiff kept running at the back of my mind and making me more upset with every passing minute.
Post-dinner, it was time for bed and the two of us were still not in our normal comfort self. He tried to coax me for one more time and I relented then as it was becoming heavy on my hand. He tried to put across his point that I reacted too soon about the dinner plan and that we could for the movie in the weekend. I put across my point that I admit having reacted too soon and it was because of the disappointment that he pushed "our" quality time away. I mentioned that he could have suggested a movie with me and then dinner with his folks and me. He seemed to agree but yet again pointed out my reaction. I explained that it was not possible to react when someone special acted quite insensitive and change plans without consulting. I ended it with the point that I agree that I reacted and anyone in my place would have done the same. He cant always be the right one. The tone in both our voices at this point of the argument upset the air even more than before. One more word and things mite get anywhere between good or bad. Both did not know what was the word though. :) It was like how they show in movies - we just turned away showing our backs to each other.
After a few quiet awkward minutes, I realized that his bday was coming near and wanted to resolve it at the earliest. I was upset. So was he. But it was his special day. I did not want this thing to go on and slowly got back to talking. And then came the deeper lying issue - he was upset that I had used the word "turn-off" when he mentioned parents. Thank God he brought it up. I clarified that it was not for his parents but for his change of plans. I could not have ever called his parents a turn off as it does not apply at all - I live with them and that should explain what I feel about them - as family ofcourse. He has all rights to spend time with them on his bday and its ridiculous to think that I dont want them. I only want an ideal solution of "our time" and "family time". That whole point thawed the ice for good and we arrived at a mutual decision of going for a movie after work and then dinner.
Clock struck 12. The boy was wished for his 31st bday from his newly wed wife and there was peace. He did tease me that I had tried to resolve it before his bday. :P The bday went peacefully with work and kungfu panda and a simple dinner with his folks. He surprised me with a peck (right under his parents' nose and ofcourse away from their eyesight or hearsight) when he saw the text Versace on the gift. :) Officemates tried to ask what he got from me and it was show-off time. Am glad he liked it. They tried to rag us during his cake-cutting but J knows how to save face. :P
All in all, I am a good girl, u see. And the spouse is not so bad. :P He is a sweetheart actually but the previous blog learnings will always hold good. I hope he has a great year ahead and I hope to be a part of it for now and ever. :)
J tried to get me out of my shell as much as possible. I was behaving my usual self busying myself with the usual chores at home because its only between the two of us. However, the tiff kept running at the back of my mind and making me more upset with every passing minute.
Post-dinner, it was time for bed and the two of us were still not in our normal comfort self. He tried to coax me for one more time and I relented then as it was becoming heavy on my hand. He tried to put across his point that I reacted too soon about the dinner plan and that we could for the movie in the weekend. I put across my point that I admit having reacted too soon and it was because of the disappointment that he pushed "our" quality time away. I mentioned that he could have suggested a movie with me and then dinner with his folks and me. He seemed to agree but yet again pointed out my reaction. I explained that it was not possible to react when someone special acted quite insensitive and change plans without consulting. I ended it with the point that I agree that I reacted and anyone in my place would have done the same. He cant always be the right one. The tone in both our voices at this point of the argument upset the air even more than before. One more word and things mite get anywhere between good or bad. Both did not know what was the word though. :) It was like how they show in movies - we just turned away showing our backs to each other.
After a few quiet awkward minutes, I realized that his bday was coming near and wanted to resolve it at the earliest. I was upset. So was he. But it was his special day. I did not want this thing to go on and slowly got back to talking. And then came the deeper lying issue - he was upset that I had used the word "turn-off" when he mentioned parents. Thank God he brought it up. I clarified that it was not for his parents but for his change of plans. I could not have ever called his parents a turn off as it does not apply at all - I live with them and that should explain what I feel about them - as family ofcourse. He has all rights to spend time with them on his bday and its ridiculous to think that I dont want them. I only want an ideal solution of "our time" and "family time". That whole point thawed the ice for good and we arrived at a mutual decision of going for a movie after work and then dinner.
Clock struck 12. The boy was wished for his 31st bday from his newly wed wife and there was peace. He did tease me that I had tried to resolve it before his bday. :P The bday went peacefully with work and kungfu panda and a simple dinner with his folks. He surprised me with a peck (right under his parents' nose and ofcourse away from their eyesight or hearsight) when he saw the text Versace on the gift. :) Officemates tried to ask what he got from me and it was show-off time. Am glad he liked it. They tried to rag us during his cake-cutting but J knows how to save face. :P
All in all, I am a good girl, u see. And the spouse is not so bad. :P He is a sweetheart actually but the previous blog learnings will always hold good. I hope he has a great year ahead and I hope to be a part of it for now and ever. :)
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Lessons learnt post-marriage
1. Learn to distance yourself and wear a mask at the right time to save your peace.
2. Do your duty as the good spouse but learn to remain selfish when it matters to YOU.
Post 40 days of marriage, it was the husband's birthday approaching and he suggested very casually a week ago that we could go for a movie that I have been keen on for quite sometime. I was thrilled on the mere suggestion and temporarily forgot he is a TRUE Gemini just for that phase. It was getting hard to unwind from the dating effect and we are still newly married. I would love to spend time with him just like any newly married dreamy-eyed spouse would. Just when I was looking forward to making the plan with the day approaching 24 hours away, he comes up with his suggestion on going out for dinner with his folks. My fell face FLAT and I revolted immediately. The reaction was too soon and the words were already out in the air that he could go with his parents. Of course it was all said in mush and jest tone. However, I also felt bad on having reacted so frankly and also on his change of mind. He tried to go back to plan 1 after looking at my disappointment but it was obvious that it was not whole-hearted. I ended the conversation for the time-being that it was not fair for me to decide what he should do for his birthday and he could take his time to decide whatever he wanted. I was fine with whatever he decided.
When I tried to reason out that it would be good to spend time together, he said that we were family now and done with dating. After all, he had come all the way to work last year in the heavy rain for a dinner with me.
I reasoned out saying we were newly married. He responded with his sentimental line about his parents never stepping out anywhere. Now that was a strong genuine reason and why would I counter that. If he was keener on the "family value" than the "couple" value and it being his birthday, his wish. I am not sure how we will plan for the anniversary and I no longer want to plan for any occasion unless it was mine own or under my better control.
All I knew was that I was getting ready to grow neutral and whenever it was to be my turn, I shall plan whatever I want. I also felt the thought grow stronger to grow selfish - I can be as sadistic or as sweet as I want to be, depending on the person and the situation.
Meanwhile, I clammed up as is my usual nature when I get upset. I really wanted my space to think and distance myself for good. Such small sweet-nothings hurt me so much. I have not learnt yet. I better learn NOW. Confided to a close friend and she voiced out the same thoughts as in my head that ideally, we could go for dinner with family and then a movie. However, I was not keen to voice it out anymore, what with all the enthusiasm drained out. Also, he has work that is keeping him very busy and that itself is a tough ordeal to go thro on a birthday. Work, travel, dinner and movie - deadening combination for a person who likes his space and time to do things.
On the other hand, if you gave me such combinations, I would do them even if they tired me to the bone. Fun at any cost. Yes, I am the dreamy kid who likes to freak out and celebrate the birthday even if I were to loose all my teeth at the age of 90. I am sure I will remain such a freak even after I have children and grand children. For now, I am being the devout wife and daughter-in-law.
So, lessons I learnt and I shall ensure to remember at every step in life to have a peaceful marriage.... Keep an open mind for changes until the last minute if it is something to do with both of us. Grow up from the sweet clingy child to an adult and keep the child reserved for times that will come soon. Become independent and pragmatic in every possible way - physically, emotionally, financially, mentally. The child within will help to get the pragmatism hide whenever applicable. :)
More on how things shaped up once they do. Wish me luck and give me strength, dear God. This might seem small and silly but small things are what it takes to make anything complete.
Something made me google and that depressed me anymore.
http://www.starlightastrology.com/gemi-pisc.htm
http://www.astrology-online.com/gesunpi.htm
"The freedom of those Geminis out there are at stake if you marry a Pisean. They must be prepared to give up all outside interests and devote all of thier time and thoughts to the Pisces mate. The sensitive and distrustful Piscean nature will, no doubt, prove too much for the liberty loving Gemini to cope with.
Geminians must be prepared to change their ways almost completely if they would seek happiness with a loving, possessive, and clinging Pisces."
Sour, eh? However, I am hell-bent on proving it wrong.
2. Do your duty as the good spouse but learn to remain selfish when it matters to YOU.
Post 40 days of marriage, it was the husband's birthday approaching and he suggested very casually a week ago that we could go for a movie that I have been keen on for quite sometime. I was thrilled on the mere suggestion and temporarily forgot he is a TRUE Gemini just for that phase. It was getting hard to unwind from the dating effect and we are still newly married. I would love to spend time with him just like any newly married dreamy-eyed spouse would. Just when I was looking forward to making the plan with the day approaching 24 hours away, he comes up with his suggestion on going out for dinner with his folks. My fell face FLAT and I revolted immediately. The reaction was too soon and the words were already out in the air that he could go with his parents. Of course it was all said in mush and jest tone. However, I also felt bad on having reacted so frankly and also on his change of mind. He tried to go back to plan 1 after looking at my disappointment but it was obvious that it was not whole-hearted. I ended the conversation for the time-being that it was not fair for me to decide what he should do for his birthday and he could take his time to decide whatever he wanted. I was fine with whatever he decided.
When I tried to reason out that it would be good to spend time together, he said that we were family now and done with dating. After all, he had come all the way to work last year in the heavy rain for a dinner with me.
I reasoned out saying we were newly married. He responded with his sentimental line about his parents never stepping out anywhere. Now that was a strong genuine reason and why would I counter that. If he was keener on the "family value" than the "couple" value and it being his birthday, his wish. I am not sure how we will plan for the anniversary and I no longer want to plan for any occasion unless it was mine own or under my better control.
All I knew was that I was getting ready to grow neutral and whenever it was to be my turn, I shall plan whatever I want. I also felt the thought grow stronger to grow selfish - I can be as sadistic or as sweet as I want to be, depending on the person and the situation.
Meanwhile, I clammed up as is my usual nature when I get upset. I really wanted my space to think and distance myself for good. Such small sweet-nothings hurt me so much. I have not learnt yet. I better learn NOW. Confided to a close friend and she voiced out the same thoughts as in my head that ideally, we could go for dinner with family and then a movie. However, I was not keen to voice it out anymore, what with all the enthusiasm drained out. Also, he has work that is keeping him very busy and that itself is a tough ordeal to go thro on a birthday. Work, travel, dinner and movie - deadening combination for a person who likes his space and time to do things.
On the other hand, if you gave me such combinations, I would do them even if they tired me to the bone. Fun at any cost. Yes, I am the dreamy kid who likes to freak out and celebrate the birthday even if I were to loose all my teeth at the age of 90. I am sure I will remain such a freak even after I have children and grand children. For now, I am being the devout wife and daughter-in-law.
So, lessons I learnt and I shall ensure to remember at every step in life to have a peaceful marriage.... Keep an open mind for changes until the last minute if it is something to do with both of us. Grow up from the sweet clingy child to an adult and keep the child reserved for times that will come soon. Become independent and pragmatic in every possible way - physically, emotionally, financially, mentally. The child within will help to get the pragmatism hide whenever applicable. :)
More on how things shaped up once they do. Wish me luck and give me strength, dear God. This might seem small and silly but small things are what it takes to make anything complete.
Something made me google and that depressed me anymore.
http://www.starlightastrology.com/gemi-pisc.htm
http://www.astrology-online.com/gesunpi.htm
"The freedom of those Geminis out there are at stake if you marry a Pisean. They must be prepared to give up all outside interests and devote all of thier time and thoughts to the Pisces mate. The sensitive and distrustful Piscean nature will, no doubt, prove too much for the liberty loving Gemini to cope with.
Geminians must be prepared to change their ways almost completely if they would seek happiness with a loving, possessive, and clinging Pisces."
Sour, eh? However, I am hell-bent on proving it wrong.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
First fight after the knot....
Silly reasons makes people look sillier. :P Look at ours.
Towards the end of one week of work and co-travel, I say, "Lets go out once a week to spend some quality time, preferably Fridays. Maybe some coffee or chaat place, preferably your side of town as you had suggested before the marriage." He says, "Sure, I would like that too. However, lets not fix only one day. Lets be flexible." Fair enough. I say, "OK. However, lets begin this week itself. Lets go out this Friday."
All coz Fridays are free of next day work related routine. Also, I was already away at parents' place for two days and we head home straight after poor him struggling and wading thro traffic or rain from work to his place after a hard day's work on other days.
My insistence for the above reasons makes the boy get objective of taking me and completing the task. He works himself up as we started on our hunt for a coffee place around his area over finding the right place and manage traffic plus car parking. Meanwhile, I started clamming up coz I had lost one of my so many favorite silver earrings at work and was really hungry and wanted to go to any decent place that would allow us to spend time and that was an equal priority to hunger. Knowing him, I did not want to pressurize or tease or get his alarm clock running overtime. The boy runs with lot of bad luck and we land up driving around bangalore for 1.5 hours. He is faced with either no good place or traffic or parking woes. And I am faced with wanting to suggest to go out or head home straight as I am unable to bear the sight of him get so confused. I could see that he was trying his best to impress me and I was unable to do anything more than restrain myself from saying anything wrong to make things worse.
In the end, we head to a nice looking bakery in Basaveshwaranagar after driving thro Cunningham road and Malleshwaram. I was so not in a mood for McD that J had been thrilled to locate after a long hunt. He does not like McD that much anyway. He is surprised at my suggestion to go to the bakery but agrees to go as it looks nice. What happens is that the nice-looking bakery is only nice to look at. I cooled a little by entertaining myself watching a sweet kid eat whatever his relatives fed him obediently. He tries to probe and I honestly replied that I was angry (actually upset) and trying to restrain myself from saying anything wrong to make things worse.
We come home in silence which he hates. (I admit it is not a nice habit. I am trying to unlearn to express my anger or disappointment in such a way.) After exchanging pleasantries with in-laws, I head to the room to vent it out with a close pal over sms. I definitely intended to get back to normal self after that. The sweetheart husband of mine meanwhile walks in to sort out the silence. We brainstorm as politely as it can get and reach the end of the incident where we put across our points and agree to disagree. Later, I walked out politely, still left with few ashes that were being left to cool off on their own in both our minds.
Engaged myself with housework to assist my mil and that surprised J pleasantly. The boy was also cooling off and by the end of the day, we seemed to have gotten somewhere better, at least a better place than the evening scene. :) He did manage to say that he had missed me in his most genuine tone and that obviously cooled off whatever else was left in me. His expressions grew softer and I knew this was helping us to thaw the leftover ice completely. With 99% of the ice thawed, the day ended on a good note.
Sigh, men are such complicated beings and they call us complicated. :) And like I confessed to my close friend, I am learning to experience marital bliss.
Lesson learnt -
Me: I tried to explain I was fine with any place as my main focus was to spend time. He disagreed that I would have been satisfied with such an arrangement. I gave up trying to convince and decided to focus on what more he had to say. I need to curb my natural instincts to do things on the spur of the moment with my ever-so-careful husband. I shall use those instincts when it has got to do nothing with him as it causes confusion due to opposite natures.
Him: He needs to try to unlearn the objective attitude when his woman desires something. And get the comfort level to express what can work best at that point in time. For that, both our understanding and trust levels needs some time.
Us: Going to be tricky to not let the elders know about our silly or not-so-silly squabbles. However, keep it as dignified as possible and smoothen it out at the earliest possible chance. It is a trick to balance the art of compromising and not letting go of your self-respect at the same time.
Towards the end of one week of work and co-travel, I say, "Lets go out once a week to spend some quality time, preferably Fridays. Maybe some coffee or chaat place, preferably your side of town as you had suggested before the marriage." He says, "Sure, I would like that too. However, lets not fix only one day. Lets be flexible." Fair enough. I say, "OK. However, lets begin this week itself. Lets go out this Friday."
All coz Fridays are free of next day work related routine. Also, I was already away at parents' place for two days and we head home straight after poor him struggling and wading thro traffic or rain from work to his place after a hard day's work on other days.
My insistence for the above reasons makes the boy get objective of taking me and completing the task. He works himself up as we started on our hunt for a coffee place around his area over finding the right place and manage traffic plus car parking. Meanwhile, I started clamming up coz I had lost one of my so many favorite silver earrings at work and was really hungry and wanted to go to any decent place that would allow us to spend time and that was an equal priority to hunger. Knowing him, I did not want to pressurize or tease or get his alarm clock running overtime. The boy runs with lot of bad luck and we land up driving around bangalore for 1.5 hours. He is faced with either no good place or traffic or parking woes. And I am faced with wanting to suggest to go out or head home straight as I am unable to bear the sight of him get so confused. I could see that he was trying his best to impress me and I was unable to do anything more than restrain myself from saying anything wrong to make things worse.
In the end, we head to a nice looking bakery in Basaveshwaranagar after driving thro Cunningham road and Malleshwaram. I was so not in a mood for McD that J had been thrilled to locate after a long hunt. He does not like McD that much anyway. He is surprised at my suggestion to go to the bakery but agrees to go as it looks nice. What happens is that the nice-looking bakery is only nice to look at. I cooled a little by entertaining myself watching a sweet kid eat whatever his relatives fed him obediently. He tries to probe and I honestly replied that I was angry (actually upset) and trying to restrain myself from saying anything wrong to make things worse.
We come home in silence which he hates. (I admit it is not a nice habit. I am trying to unlearn to express my anger or disappointment in such a way.) After exchanging pleasantries with in-laws, I head to the room to vent it out with a close pal over sms. I definitely intended to get back to normal self after that. The sweetheart husband of mine meanwhile walks in to sort out the silence. We brainstorm as politely as it can get and reach the end of the incident where we put across our points and agree to disagree. Later, I walked out politely, still left with few ashes that were being left to cool off on their own in both our minds.
Engaged myself with housework to assist my mil and that surprised J pleasantly. The boy was also cooling off and by the end of the day, we seemed to have gotten somewhere better, at least a better place than the evening scene. :) He did manage to say that he had missed me in his most genuine tone and that obviously cooled off whatever else was left in me. His expressions grew softer and I knew this was helping us to thaw the leftover ice completely. With 99% of the ice thawed, the day ended on a good note.
Sigh, men are such complicated beings and they call us complicated. :) And like I confessed to my close friend, I am learning to experience marital bliss.
Lesson learnt -
Me: I tried to explain I was fine with any place as my main focus was to spend time. He disagreed that I would have been satisfied with such an arrangement. I gave up trying to convince and decided to focus on what more he had to say. I need to curb my natural instincts to do things on the spur of the moment with my ever-so-careful husband. I shall use those instincts when it has got to do nothing with him as it causes confusion due to opposite natures.
Him: He needs to try to unlearn the objective attitude when his woman desires something. And get the comfort level to express what can work best at that point in time. For that, both our understanding and trust levels needs some time.
Us: Going to be tricky to not let the elders know about our silly or not-so-silly squabbles. However, keep it as dignified as possible and smoothen it out at the earliest possible chance. It is a trick to balance the art of compromising and not letting go of your self-respect at the same time.
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