Lessons learnt post-marriage

1. Learn to distance yourself and wear a mask at the right time to save your peace.
2. Do your duty as the good spouse but learn to remain selfish when it matters to YOU.

Post 40 days of marriage, it was the husband's birthday approaching and he suggested very casually a week ago that we could go for a movie that I have been keen on for quite sometime. I was thrilled on the mere suggestion and temporarily forgot he is a TRUE Gemini just for that phase. It was getting hard to unwind from the dating effect and we are still newly married. I would love to spend time with him just like any newly married dreamy-eyed spouse would. Just when I was looking forward to making the plan with the day approaching 24 hours away, he comes up with his suggestion on going out for dinner with his folks. My fell face FLAT and I revolted immediately. The reaction was too soon and the words were already out in the air that he could go with his parents. Of course it was all said in mush and jest tone. However, I also felt bad on having reacted so frankly and also on his change of mind. He tried to go back to plan 1 after looking at my disappointment but it was obvious that it was not whole-hearted. I ended the conversation for the time-being that it was not fair for me to decide what he should do for his birthday and he could take his time to decide whatever he wanted. I was fine with whatever he decided.

When I tried to reason out that it would be good to spend time together, he said that we were family now and done with dating. After all, he had come all the way to work last year in the heavy rain for a dinner with me.

I reasoned out saying we were newly married. He responded with his sentimental line about his parents never stepping out anywhere. Now that was a strong genuine reason and why would I counter that. If he was keener on the "family value" than the "couple" value and it being his birthday, his wish. I am not sure how we will plan for the anniversary and I no longer want to plan for any occasion unless it was mine own or under my better control.

All I knew was that I was getting ready to grow neutral and whenever it was to be my turn, I shall plan whatever I want. I also felt the thought grow stronger to grow selfish - I can be as sadistic or as sweet as I want to be, depending on the person and the situation.

Meanwhile, I clammed up as is my usual nature when I get upset. I really wanted my space to think and distance myself for good. Such small sweet-nothings hurt me so much. I have not learnt yet. I better learn NOW. Confided to a close friend and she voiced out the same thoughts as in my head that ideally, we could go for dinner with family and then a movie. However, I was not keen to voice it out anymore, what with all the enthusiasm drained out. Also, he has work that is keeping him very busy and that itself is a tough ordeal to go thro on a birthday. Work, travel, dinner and movie - deadening combination for a person who likes his space and time to do things.

On the other hand, if you gave me such combinations, I would do them even if they tired me to the bone. Fun at any cost. Yes, I am the dreamy kid who likes to freak out and celebrate the birthday even if I were to loose all my teeth at the age of 90. I am sure I will remain such a freak even after I have children and grand children. For now, I am being the devout wife and daughter-in-law.


So, lessons I learnt and I shall ensure to remember at every step in life to have a peaceful marriage.... Keep an open mind for changes until the last minute if it is something to do with both of us. Grow up from the sweet clingy child to an adult and keep the child reserved for times that will come soon. Become independent and pragmatic in every possible way - physically, emotionally, financially, mentally. The child within will help to get the pragmatism hide whenever applicable. :)

More on how things shaped up once they do. Wish me luck and give me strength, dear God. This might seem small and silly but small things are what it takes to make anything complete.

Something made me google and that depressed me anymore.

http://www.starlightastrology.com/gemi-pisc.htm

http://www.astrology-online.com/gesunpi.htm


"The freedom of those Geminis out there are at stake if you marry a Pisean. They must be prepared to give up all outside interests and devote all of thier time and thoughts to the Pisces mate. The sensitive and distrustful Piscean nature will, no doubt, prove too much for the liberty loving Gemini to cope with.

Geminians must be prepared to change their ways almost completely if they would seek happiness with a loving, possessive, and clinging Pisces."

Sour, eh? However, I am hell-bent on proving it wrong.