Timing and its answers - Jigsaw puzzle to be put in place

Well, I can hear my stomach growling for food. I shall not pay heed. Coz I want to blog this one and then take off! :)

I always periodically have severe mood swings and I dont really know if its only coz of PMS. I am so lost that I have decided to find the key for this set of Pandora's box at the earliest! I am already mentally set out on this and am determined to give it a try atleast. It doesnt matter if the timing is going to be too early or too late. I need it for my peace of mind.

I was reading Chetan Bhagat's blog titled "Sparks". Beautiful one. He basically says that you should live your life with sparks and also make sure you tackle four mind-blocks - frustration, isolation, boredom and compromise. I keep thinking what he means by saying "Dont live life too seriously." :) Coz I get serious even about the smallest teeny-weeny matter that looks like it might go wrong.

His blog coupled with "Secrets" is only making me do something that I really never imagined to be doing. I did it once and the timing was too late. I am gonna do it again and I guess the timing would be early. What the heck, I would atleast unentangle myself from all-consuming concentric web around me.

My attitude is neutral and I feel that makes me feel old. I am going to do this to make myself feel like a 17 year old. :D

I am scared I would fall into the pits of depression if my timing screws me up. Its because its not just about me. Anyways, everything in this world can be mended with time.

On the other hand, I know this can be a fresh chapter in my life which can add spring to my every step where I will scale to heights of success and good spirits that I always wanted in every sphere of my life.

Yet, I am waiting for one single hint from somewhere to tell me if its right to go on or not. I shall wait until you know when. :)

Realisation and miracles

Hmmm........ What I thought was quite there is actually really really there. I was told so today and I believe it more now. I am going to see it materialize it in the coming days and I betcha I will be right. Miracles happen!

Waiting with fast-paced bated breath! :) Stay tuned.

Life aint just about one thing!

Talking of those concentric circles around me, I realised I cant let it take me completely like this. I was so depressed the whole of today. I had completely lost my mind. :) I was going to become my own worst nightmare if I lived like this.

I cant really talk it all out of my head to everyone or anyone since its such an entangled web. I sincerely wish I will be able to do that in a matter of some more time. I prefer lucidity than this foggy state of mind.

There are so many other things currently that demand my attention. I aint sure they are thoroughly enjoyable but they constitute an integral part of my life. So, I am gonna give those things their deserving due. :)

But kashish dil mein rahegi hi sahi! :) Talking of those concentric circles around me, I realised I cant let it take me completely like this. I was so depressed the whole of today. I had completely lost my mind. :) I was going to become my own worst nightmare if I lived like this.

I cant really talk it all out of my head to everyone or anyone since its such an entangled web. I sincerely wish I will be able to do that in a matter of some more time. I prefer lucidity than this foggy state of mind.

There are so many other things currently that demand my attention. I aint sure they are thoroughly enjoyable but they constitute an integral part of my life. So, I am gonna give those things their deserving due. :)

Par kashish dil mein rahegi hi sahi!

Also, I saw the movie "Serendipity" and it made me feel so much better. I was dying to see "Sleepless in Seattle" but the former movie made me feel good too. I am such a romantic fool! Ha ha. Life is all about everything and anything.

Caught amidst a web of concentric circles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm, well, wondering what the title means?! Tough to explain. These concentric circles are something that I put myself in both involuntarily and voluntarily.

There are 3 in total. The inner-most one is completely close-ended. The middle one is almost becoming close-ended but has some gaps. The outer-most circle is perforated and almost transparent.

The close-ended one is making me claustrophobic. Not anybody's fault but thats how it was meant to be, right from the start. I am trying to make some room to breathe. Its either taking its own time or I am destined to not get any of it. I sometimes just wish the circle almost vanishes. And sometimes I wish for the opposite.

The middle one is so mysterious that I might call it a mirage. It sometimes looks like its there and I yearn for it to become a perfect circle of contentment. But lo, it just keeps playing tricks on me.

The outermost one is mysterious in its own way and has a double-edge to it. Since its perforated all over, I am not really concerned about it. I believe I have the strength to handle it, come what may.

Now the catch is my focus is drifting towards the middle one from the closest one. And I wonder how things will turn out. I am not prepared but I am somewhat prepared too. I don't want the white flag.

Fortunately or unfortunately, many thick, thin and miraged concentric circles appeared and disappeared on their own in the course of time. Some have scarred me for life due to circumstantial misfitting. Some have been a learning. But I repeat I don't want the white flag with regard to the current focus.

"Itni shiddad se tumhe paane ki koshish ki hai... ki har zarre ne mujhe tumse mulane ki saajish ki hai. Kehte hain ki kisi cheez ko agar dil se chaho tho, poori kaayanath tumse use milane ki koshish mein lag jaathi hai. Aaj aap sab logon ne muje apni chaahath se mila diya. Iskeliye main aap sab ko tahe dil se shukriya adha kartha hoon. Hamaari hindi filmon ki tarah humaari zindagi mein bhi end mein sab kuch theek ho jaata hain. Aur agar kuch theek nahin hui tho, kahani abhi khatm nahin hui. Picture abhi baaki hain, mere dost" - One of my most favorite dialogues. I got goosebumps when I was watching Shahrukh tell it in Om Shanti Om. Life needs to tell me if its true. And I do believe its true.

I have no idea why life gets so intricately delicately complicated. Its nice to know some special things exist. Life is definitely interesting somehow because of that. But its sometimes exhausting too to see if its worth it since it means all the way.