First fight after the knot....

Silly reasons makes people look sillier. :P Look at ours.

Towards the end of one week of work and co-travel, I say, "Lets go out once a week to spend some quality time, preferably Fridays. Maybe some coffee or chaat place, preferably your side of town as you had suggested before the marriage." He says, "Sure, I would like that too. However, lets not fix only one day. Lets be flexible." Fair enough. I say, "OK. However, lets begin this week itself. Lets go out this Friday."

All coz Fridays are free of next day work related routine. Also, I was already away at parents' place for two days and we head home straight after poor him struggling and wading thro traffic or rain from work to his place after a hard day's work on other days.

My insistence for the above reasons makes the boy get objective of taking me and completing the task. He works himself up as we started on our hunt for a coffee place around his area over finding the right place and manage traffic plus car parking. Meanwhile, I started clamming up coz I had lost one of my so many favorite silver earrings at work and was really hungry and wanted to go to any decent place that would allow us to spend time and that was an equal priority to hunger. Knowing him, I did not want to pressurize or tease or get his alarm clock running overtime. The boy runs with lot of bad luck and we land up driving around bangalore for 1.5 hours. He is faced with either no good place or traffic or parking woes. And I am faced with wanting to suggest to go out or head home straight as I am unable to bear the sight of him get so confused. I could see that he was trying his best to impress me and I was unable to do anything more than restrain myself from saying anything wrong to make things worse.

In the end, we head to a nice looking bakery in Basaveshwaranagar after driving thro Cunningham road and Malleshwaram. I was so not in a mood for McD that J had been thrilled to locate after a long hunt. He does not like McD that much anyway. He is surprised at my suggestion to go to the bakery but agrees to go as it looks nice. What happens is that the nice-looking bakery is only nice to look at. I cooled a little by entertaining myself watching a sweet kid eat whatever his relatives fed him obediently. He tries to probe and I honestly replied that I was angry (actually upset) and trying to restrain myself from saying anything wrong to make things worse.

We come home in silence which he hates. (I admit it is not a nice habit. I am trying to unlearn to express my anger or disappointment in such a way.) After exchanging pleasantries with in-laws, I head to the room to vent it out with a close pal over sms. I definitely intended to get back to normal self after that. The sweetheart husband of mine meanwhile walks in to sort out the silence. We brainstorm as politely as it can get and reach the end of the incident where we put across our points and agree to disagree. Later, I walked out politely, still left with few ashes that were being left to cool off on their own in both our minds.

Engaged myself with housework to assist my mil and that surprised J pleasantly. The boy was also cooling off and by the end of the day, we seemed to have gotten somewhere better, at least a better place than the evening scene. :) He did manage to say that he had missed me in his most genuine tone and that obviously cooled off whatever else was left in me. His expressions grew softer and I knew this was helping us to thaw the leftover ice completely. With 99% of the ice thawed, the day ended on a good note.

Sigh, men are such complicated beings and they call us complicated. :) And like I confessed to my close friend, I am learning to experience marital bliss.

Lesson learnt -

Me: I tried to explain I was fine with any place as my main focus was to spend time. He disagreed that I would have been satisfied with such an arrangement. I gave up trying to convince and decided to focus on what more he had to say. I need to curb my natural instincts to do things on the spur of the moment with my ever-so-careful husband. I shall use those instincts when it has got to do nothing with him as it causes confusion due to opposite natures.

Him: He needs to try to unlearn the objective attitude when his woman desires something. And get the comfort level to express what can work best at that point in time. For that, both our understanding and trust levels needs some time.

Us: Going to be tricky to not let the elders know about our silly or not-so-silly squabbles. However, keep it as dignified as possible and smoothen it out at the earliest possible chance. It is a trick to balance the art of compromising and not letting go of your self-respect at the same time.