Indian Simpsons family!

Our worlds are as big as our minds. This can be further explained as follows:

Narrow / broad - due to our mindsets

Traditional alias conservative / modern alias westernized - due to upbringing

One happened to meet one such family wherein it was from the former sort of upbringing (80%) and the family was of the latter sort. Initially, it was quite a shocker for one to even see such a family in such close quarters. It was so apprehensive and lost when it was given the opportunity to meet them. Destiny took its sweet toll and put it in such weird interesting situations with this family. One admits it put itself in those situations voluntarily but Destiny has its hand. Overall, one would say that it finds that family completely adorable and yet totally unpredictable.

One met them first - they looked so distant and unapproachable. Then one met them second time wherein one spent more time and saw the madness, closeness, weirdness, frankness. :) Felt definitely interesting but lost. For this, one told self to join as it would serve as a break. :D What a break that was! In the heart of nature and in such interesting company. Now one is to meet the bunch with their etcetera again. One has put up a huge clash of emotions and confusions and guilt to embark on the third meet. Sigh, time has the key to all the doubts.

I realized lately that every single second that passed by, only pushes you further and further to your answers. Yet, we fret and nag and waste energy and effort in it. Its true that the answer awaited could be a nightmare and thats why we fret. :) Nothing is lost in hoping that the answer could be a dream/wish come true or just a simple solution.

Waiting with bated breath! :)

New name and its reasons

Well, today was one just lazy day. I reckon thats the way I wanted to celebrate Labour Day. I am quite happy it went that way though I was left out with boredom in the end of it.

Somehow, today, I just so much wanted something to happen but I was surprisingly ready to accept if it did not happen. I wonder how I cud be in two minds and still fine. Am I growing old and boring? All in all, it happened but not exactly as I expected. I am quite clueless as to if I am right in expecting more from it. I want so much from it but am scared to wish coz I would be disappointed if it dint happen. I am scared of getting hurt, you see. But then, how dumb and boring to let things happen and blame fate or destiny.

Shit, I am so confused and unsure and hence I chose the name Confucius. Its not in the least anywhere near to the famous philosopher. :) I chose it coz the sound of the name is more like the way I am. He he. "Mystic" gets prefixed coz I swear my life does have its teeny-weeny bit of mystery and I really want to sound interesting. :P

I aint a depressed soul - I am just waiting for my life to get interesting and that really shows I am lazy bum. :) Since I am lazy, I wait for good things to happen and complain that life is depressing. Also, I am quite scared to take risks to make it interesting fearing the hurt. One delicate darling. :D

Calvin and Hobbes:

Calvin: Do you believe in stars?
Hobbes: Honestly, no.
Calvin: I do.
Hobbes: What?! (Surprised)
Calvin: Thats coz its easy to blame someone else if things get bad.

I so love Bill Waterman who created Calvin and Hobbes.

Sigh!

Caught unawares

The depression visits again. Catches me unawares and then my thoughts and actions get suspended in mid-air for quite a while. I procrastinate work and many other personal things. Sigh, I hate feeling so vulnerable and dissatisfied. It also makes me get very angry and frustrated easily - Believe me, I have road rage even without knowing how to drive a vehicle. Dangerous and dumb, eh? :D I should carry a placard with me 24/7 which reads "Caution: Mood swings ahead." Female species seems to be blessed that way in general. :D

However, I also pull up myself when nothing helps thro various mediums - like talking to a friend if I am lucky to find someone free, listening to a friend who sometimes is more depressed than me, having chocolates (he he... extremely tempting and handy rather than a person), shop till I drop (pinches my wallet), watch a nice movie, read a nice book, contemplate or speculate (if I am really sober and sensibility traces remain in my senses), cry it out and fall asleep. All these are obviously followed in random order.

Life aint so bad, they say. Also, I read a quote today - "Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it." My my, it made me feel like I had found some answer at least, though not a complete one but definitely convincing one. Also, one of my friends forwarded a mail that summarized that "Blue Ribbon - Who you are definitely makes a difference". Its so touching and true. :)

I saw this movie - "Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who". Nice one to watch and feel good. Moral - "A person is a person, no matter how small". You should actually listen the narrator say it. His voice and the way he says it - Makes you feel really good and also realise everyone is special in this world.

Oh, to add to another movie that I recently watched - Tashan. One hilarious bullshit gross dumb irritating movie. Quite an Indian version of "The Dukes of Hazzard" (- a popular American TV show) and "Casino". I loved Akshay in it though. Kareena - Seriously, what a makeover - had the guys drooling and I admit she is looking HOT! :) Saif was just there - Poor thing! Akshay takes the cake home with his raw rustic charm and attitude. Tashan means "arrogant, dont-care but feel good attitude" or simply "ishtyle". Intention of the director to inspire people to throw attitude and ooze loads of oomph and confidence is fine. But the finishing of the movie was just not good. Lacked class and panache. Not an efficiently made movie script-wise. Could have been made so well. Bad luck. Goof-ups so bloody noticeable - Akshay gets shot in his arm in a stunt sequence and next scene, he is fit and fine. Please dont go to see that movie unless you're out of your mind! Well, you can see it if you dont want to apply any brains and are very jobless or last but not the least, a die-hard fan of any one of the lead actors. To be frank, I quite liked it but also wanted to walk out of the theater at many points.

Looking forward to watch "Dasavatharam". I quite enjoyed "Jodha Akbar" whose main themes were love and religion. I reckon "Dasavatharam" has its own take on religion - Kamal's creation. Lets see what he has got to say. I am so confused about all this religious and spiritual space. I like movies with a religion storyline when they narrate it with a beautiful soothing touch of poignance.

Girls should talk to guys - they are after all not just that dumb when it comes to technology. :D I faced quite a tough situation with my office laptop one of these days and as usual, the IT helpdesk were taking their own time. I broke my head to fix the issue on my own and thanks to one of my friends, I was able to solve it in time. I recalled one of the conversations that I had had with this guy and tried his time-tested technique. Voila, it worked! :D

Apart from all this, I have to mention this - I had been to a wedding reception recently. It involved quite a turn of events which made me realise what a romantic fool and emotional wreck I am. I was in two minds about attending it for 4-5 days which made me realise I was getting quite obsessed about it. By the end of it all, it was quite worth it coz I felt good after that. I also realised that if I really wanted to do something, I will do it, no matter what. Should I call it Tashan, eh? :D I got the support of a few people on time to do what I wanted - true. Thanks to them, I can boast of the Tashan. :D

Coming back to my mood-swings, work-life balance is something I crave to master. Work gets so hectic and sometimes I wonder why the hell I should do it. To add to it, control my rage and sensitive attitude. I am such a touchy person - gets really tough for my close loved ones to handle me in some situations.

I can relate to quite an extent to the two women in "A Thousand Splendid Suns" - Khalid Hoseini has captured their thoughts in such a beautiful way - I have no words to describe his precision. One unputdownable read.

However, I must say that I am growing up gradually and hopefully will evolve into a better person in the coming years. Its not easy to manage a married life and then be a good parent itseems. Sigh, I hope I learn to do my best and remain in my senses by then when I enter such phases in the days coming ahead. :) Friends keep you rooted and time is the best healer after friends. I want to be able to maintain such friendships forever, no matter what. Lets see. Where there is will, there is a way. :)

Cheers to Tashan, Khaled Hoseini, Blue Ribbon and Romance..... Life is quite an interesting mystery. :)

Hmmm, this particular blog is dedicated to the first spells of rain in Bangalore for 2008. :) And I had the good fortune (I'm trying to not call it misfortune) to witness it and experience it. Phew!!! All my nightmares that had just taken a siesta until October last year, have got awakened again. :( I cant help calling it them nightmares coz of the after-effects of this "oh-so-innocent-refreshing" rain spells - maddening traffic, auto fare and commuting mode woes, mad and wet and irritated world of people around, wet clothes and humid air, last but not the least and worst of all - my area's pathetic state. I get depressed coz of all this wenever it rains. Please dont conclude I am a lifeless soul or a cruel boring person coz of all this. I love rains - especially when it brings along with it all pleasant and simple things like the smell of mud with the first few drops of rain, getting drenched completely, having icecreams when me is a red-nosed rudolph, rainbow plus sunshine, falling asleep while listening to the torrent of rain like a lullaby, curling up on a bed with a novel or a nice movie or just generally chatting away with folks or frnds or doing nothing but staring at the rain, accompanied by chai and pakodas etc., not necessarily in that order of preference. :) Well, I know I need to brace the rainy days ahead with a pinch of salt yet again.

Last month was my bday month. :) Obviously my favorite month coz I get gifts and wishes and get a chance to just feel good without any unreasonable excuses. :D Cut bday cake made just for me, for the first time in my life. Got loads of gifts - some of them were unexpected and made this year very special. I did a new thing too - went on a one day biking trip (first time) with a few colleagues to Devarayanadurga (60 kms from Blore - Tumkur side and similar to Gopalaswamy Betta near Bandipur) and had a blast of time - realised pleasure of biking, got to see green beautiful nature, bikers and their biking passion and how they reach out and have fun together. Started the trip at 5 am and ended at 10 pm. :D Not to forget I came home red-faced, covered all over with grit and mud and was exhausted though I was only a pillion rider. I was very very thrilled too. I love bullets, I say. :) Thanks much to my colleague for offering me the chance to enjoy a bullet ride and driving so safely but with such speed - his was the most envied bike in the group. :D

Apart from that, last month made me realise about Cupid's mischievous antics which sometimes turns out to be more than a mischief. :D Cupid knocks the door when you least expect. Some people tell me Cupid never approached them until they got married. Sometimes I see Cupid strike one person so many times invariably and sometimes even when the person is already committed. I can never understand how Cupid decides. :) I am yet to see how Cupid is gonna act in my life. I have started believing that Cupid's chemistry trials work out to be successful only when the couple are happily married with everyone's blessings and the couple has loads of optimism, guts, determination, patience, compatibility, trust, ability to sacrifice, share and compromise. I believe now that the results of Cupid's experiments are seen only after a certain period of time. Sigh, such a pity, right, when the world is now so fast-moving and wants instantaneous results? But sometimes some beautiful things need to be enjoyed slowly. As a rule, quick-fix solutions dont happen here always. I definitely agree with the sayings "Love is blind" and "It is better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all." I just pray people develop the strength to face the pain and overcome it if the latter occurs in their life due to some misfortune or bad timing. Been there, done that but the hurt is fresh always for some people.

To love and its undying eternal glory. :)

Its New Year and time for a new start (Is that compulsory?)

Yellos my dearest blog.... I visited thou randomly last year and now am here again after a 20-day-old New Year. :) Beware, I shall not make any promises of being regular. So be it.

Tch... tch... its already 20 days old. So not anymore new, but what the heck?! It was new sometime back. Started it with a wildest bang - did such random things that the conservative boring me wouldnt dare to. Albeit had so much fun.

God bless whoever found Orkut. Meeting a close pal (whom I was almost sure I had lost) out of the blue - Would not have happened otherwise at all. And the short and sweet quick journey that I got the chance to take to make the meeting happen was also out of the blue. An awesome blue, I must say. :) Then partied for a very short while almost immediately after the journey - I've no clue where I got the energy from.

What do you expect after I do all this emotional adventurous riot? Ecstasy - yes, thats right. But also, my lame lazed out body just wanted to breakdown and I fell ill and that really cost me so much. Wotte fun it was to fall ill?! Please do not miss the sarcasm in it - I intend to actually mean tons of it... :)

Amidst all this illness, the depression that encaptured me completely - no words to describe it. It was major emotional turmoil which was opposing the daily routine from the most pliable angle that can be imagined. It has taken tremendous effort for me to come out of the dream-reality that I experienced on the last few days of last year. Now its safely locked in my Pensieve in d midst of my heart beating rapidly for it to repeat itself. All out of naivete. :)

Now I really wonder what lies ahead for me. People around me pester me already about list of my commitments that I should supposedly be getting ready and achieving. As if its as easy as the list of targets to be achieved by a salesperson? People wouldnt understand and I aint gonna try to explain. :) I am just wondering how long I am gonna be able to hold on and not fall off the precipice. :)

Merry-making is what I expect from life ahead. Days will unleash the suspense ahead and give answers to all my puzzles. :) Amistad and good charm should keep me going. Let us see.

Cheerio!!! :)

One-chance meetings

An old saying goes "Out of sight, out of mind". With normal relationships like acquaintances or friends, this holds true most of the time. Life takes control of your activities and you just run behind time to get ahead of it. In such a pandemonium, you just think only about the rat-race.

A poem with these lines - "No time to stand and stare...." - Leisure. When do we do not do it? I guess when something or someone really touches the innermost chords of your heart, we invariably take time to recall them. Mind becomes a Pensieve (if its fine for me to borrow Dumbledore's property to account here.)

So if this is for casual relationships, what happens in one-chance meetings? I somehow heard that for people who have had such one-chance meetings, it changed their life completely.

It need not be a face-to-face meeting. Sometimes, it could be just anyhow wherein you tend to get really close and then it gets confusing because you really dont know where its heading. "Answer just what your heart prompts you." May not be definitely a good rule to be followed here. But sometimes, who knows, it just might have been the best thing that happened to you. All you need to do is give it sometime and some strong faith. Not all are ready to take the risk in fear of heartache and a bloody shoddy mess of minds and sentiments. However, if it works, life is beautiful in such instances. "Fortune favours the brave."

About the movie "Sleepless in Seattle" - I actually wished that I get to see it come true somewhere sometime in my life. That movie was just one out of the blue romance.
I just truly felt life is a sweet long romance which ripens with time. :D Naive, eh?
So does my same opinion apply to movies like "Serendipity", "Meet Joe Black", "When Harry met Sally", "Pretty woman", "Anastasia". Do they ever come true? Or are they just fictional and to be enjoyed as movies and then forgotten for good? I really dont know but I watch them repeatedly and fill and refill my stock of dreams. :D

I really wish life does hold pleasant surprises ahead and makes living worthwhile for everybody, especially me. (I can afford to be selfish - after all, thats human nature.) :D

Movies...........

Well, whats with movies really? A medium of entertainment or just another mode of splurging money? No clue.

From my tiny tot days, most movies that I have watched have been on love / family drama / action flicks. And all know that movies make most of one theme: love - whoa, all kinds - i mean blind, deaf, dumb, normal, obsessive, compulsive etcetera... And all this mainly covers straight type. A few cover the curved ones. (:P) Also, the movies cover love in different geometrical patterns: triangle, circle, square etc. And I have no necesity to blog about "masala" or commercial movies. I just am quoting on movies I liked.

Note: All you international and art movie buffs, pardon my ignorance. Am still trying to get there and increase my awareness.

Once in a while, I get to see movies like Sarfarosh, In pursuit of happiness, Nayagan, Anbe sivam, Kannathil muthamittal, Mouna raagham, Salangai oli, Astitva, Mitr, Meet Joe Black, Casino, One flew over the cuckoo's nest, Anastasia, Shrek, Ratatouille, Kalki, Sindhu bhairavi, Namesake... The one that affected me most recently is "Tamil M.A". This movie scared the hell out of me but then I wondered "Aint the story true?" Albeit, a little exaggerated coz the guy becomes schizophrenic. Not all become like him, do they? Same goes with Anniyan. Are they trying to convey that you become eccentric wen u try to achieve justice?

The next one that has come on the similar lines is Evano Oruvan. Waiting to see it - hopin no eccentricities are found in it and it aint a Pandora box. :)

I had long back seen a Milan Kundera movie and from then, am just too much in a fix to try such movies again. But what the hell, will give it a shot. After all, movies are effectual imageries, sometimes wry and sometimes fantastic. :) Keep watching them is wot I'll say.