Feb 6, 2010 - Fateful day that changed JK's life and so did mine. I had managed to cough up the guts to ask JK if he was interested in me and marriage - basically, proposed to him.
How I did it - I do not know. :D
I mean, I had wanted to ask him in Sep 2009 itself, then pushed it to Dec 2009 and then did not want to ask at all. I was not at all sure and did not want to rush - Once bitten, twice shy. Also, he had just then joined my work place in Aug 2009 as my referral after a short gap caused by job hunt due to recession, esp. in US. It was my personal pressure point - my parents were freaking out to get me settled with me turning 28 years and me wanting to tie the knot with someone whom I'd like along with parents' approval, but no hard and fast rules that it had to be love/arranged. Life had taught me enough and JK was very keen to sort out his life with work being the top-most priority at that point in time. On the other hand, JK's comfort level with me was growing into good friendship. So why would anyone want to spoil it?
On the fateful Feb 5 evening, JK and I went to Koshys for a light snack as it was his turn to invite me for a casual meet over coffee. I was trying to not overdo my turns to invite him for plays or coffee or dinner/lunch treats. He was lapping up all the attention I showered on him at work or otherwise. I knew I was hinting but the block-head will not ask more than coffee invitations. To top it, he kinda got the drift after my sms in Sep 2009 that I'd like to talk to him about something personal someday. :P RAC?!! ;)
In Koshy's though, I saw some minor changes in JK's behavior - he was his friendly self but was imitating my actions and that was obviously giving me some very hazy ideas about his interest level in me. I had been sure that I will wait for some signs from him and if things looked just as they seem aka friendship, then I would go and tie the knot with Srinivas, the CA chap at the earliest chance and sort out life thereafter. I had had enough with my parents. However, I went home and after a great deal of brainstorming and finding few convincing signs from JK, I sent him a message that I wanted to talk and we could meet or it could be done over the phone. He replied back saying he was fine to meet. The fateful meeting was to happen in Cha Bar at 4ish.
I had worked out Feb 6th as the date coz the next week was Valentines and I did not want to run the show with the world - so cliched and the week next would be my birthday. What if the answer was a no?! Who would want to spend a year moping for Feb 14 or spoil their bday? Plus Cha bar is a decent place and not far from my home too. ;)
We met and I was my usual jabber, trying to cover the butterflies and procrastinate. At one point, there was an awkward silence and JK gave me a known look - "What did you want to talk?"
A little flashback - He had asked me this q in Sep 2009 in Coffee day at Lido mall very innocently and I just mumbled some dumb pretext about doing it later. That was another funny meeting initiated by me to watch a movie which turned out to be A rated and I did not know where to keep my face that particular evening. JK was enjoying the whole thing inside but accompanying me to different theatres. Thankfully, we did not watch any movie that day. In Dec 2009, I offered to treat for my 2.5 year completion and he found it hilarious that someone would insist so much. Not his fault completely but I was planning to ask him out. However, I was definitely not prepared for the conversation. I was both very embarrassed and annoyed at my situation. So, I gave the treat and quietly postponed the thought to later or choose any other option for my future.
Now, back to Cha bar, I realized I could not procrastinate further and asked him first thing - "Are you seeing anybody?" He gave me a known wise smile and said no. I decided to take the hint and plunged right at the point - Only strategy was to mention that it was because of my parents and wanted to know what he had to offer. I would not mention anything about my feelings or all that usual cliche coz that would make the friendship suffer and everything was still very nascent. He listened to me patiently and said "No. I would not be interested in marriage as my parents would not support me in this." That was it and it was time to wind up on a friendly note. So, I said that was perfectly fine and we could let this thing pass and wind up for the day. He tried to prod me more ("I would love to but I cant.") in return as to what I wanted and keep parents aside. I still remember the answer I gave and am proud of myself for that - "That is not necessary anymore when we the answer is a no." We stood our grounds, showed our best behavior as usual and decided to leave. I shopped for some CDs at Oxford and everything was normal on the outside. Inside, I was now working out other alternatives and trying not to show anything that would spoil the friendship. The boy, as usual, was trying to observe every movement of mine and getting confused totally. I insisted I would go home on my own but he insisted he would drop me. I still do not know why he insisted. On the way, he tried prodding me again and that was taking its toll on me. At one speedbreaker near HAL factory, there was a movie-like scene - He had not pressed the brakes on time and I obviously fell on him. I remember holding my ground and not getting distracted or confused. That did leave an impression on him. ;) I remember very vividly what he said at 11th cross board - "Many girls have proposed to me. This is not new." I was annoyed at his arrogance but then I did not want to misinterpret anything anymore. So, I left it just at that and thanked him with a msg asking if all is well and nothing had changed and would prefer him to remain the same mocking friendly self. He replies back sweetly - Yes. All is well and I will not stop mocking you. Well, I was a sweet goof too - I had asked out a guy and still walked out with my head in the air, least unaffected after a "No.". :D
I could sense a change in his attitude from the next working day onwards. He started initiating outings and would wait for my arrival at work. Everything was discrete though. :) On V-day, I sent him a message to wish him, totally not my nature and he calls back saying that he wanted to talk and clarify few things. As it was in Cha bar, both of us again remained neutral on the outside and spoke maturely about our wants/preferences and how we should work it out. I cant recall why or when he invited me for a treat at Gateway hotel. It was again a follow-up conversation to decide to make sure he was making the right decision to try to go ahead with this deal. I was quite clueless about a lot of things but then I knew certain priorities.
We had a lot of conversations after that in different places (mostly at Ants) about our strategies, rules and how to proceed for the deal. His insistence to not get involved emotionally was taking a toll but I realized that it was sensible. It did show me how patient I could get and how I could coax things out of him or make him see sense or follow his logic to keep all stakeholders happy - I made him admit his feelings for me once though it was decided that we would get involved only if parents approved, horoscopes matched etc. etc. I met another alliance and that irked me somewhere but then made me decide that it was JK whom I preferred. Calmed my parents to wait for his side to move forward. At one point, both of us started liking each other though things were unstable and we were waiting for the horoscope match results as if it were do or die phase. At another point, he started pushing his family with subtle and confusing hints about me. I was enjoying and getting serious about him when I got to see his liking for me, how it got me upset and awkward between us when his mom did not approve, how he sent my photo to his sis, how they came home and met us formally, how his mom started warming up to me, how we reached the final "yes" phase. Then the second meeting to discuss engagement date, then his US visit, then preparing ourselves to announce it at work. Got ragged royally - He keeps wanting to announce it before my turn and I was praying inwards to somehow delay that as I was busy in a training. We announced it at the same time to our respective teams and some nodded with a known look and some were zapped. The engagement went on well and gave an idea about the families. I had even played a prank on a close friend about JK and it boomeranged but fun indeed. :D We did engagement shopping and preparation, wedding hall hunt, date decision, my dowry jewelry shopping for him together. :D
Celebrated yesterday in a quiet way by attending his best friend's wedding and tea at Cha Bar. We even sat at the same seats and reminisced about how this started, what lies ahead and how we like. I got a little impulsive and ended the day by calling him to wish goodnight and say "love you" at 10:45 pm when I very well knew he would be snoring to glory. :) The pig picked the call - "What happened? Go on. Its ok. Tell me.", snorted in his zombie state and replied back - "Love you too. Good night." I was in splits and also mildly annoyed. :D He tells me today that he liked that sweet pleasant surprise act of mine. :) Yeah right, always loves my attention, no doubt. To give the same, he would show some bit of pricey airs. Phew, porki and a sweetheart
Been a quirky fun ride so far. I pray for better and sweeter things ahead for both of us and for people involved with us forever.
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