The other side of Easter...

One part of me was bleeding its death and the other part was awakening to a fresh move.

Watched a play with a companion and this date was something that I had contemplated for a long while now. It almost seemed as if it would not happen and then, bang on, it happened just like that... It felt as if someone was teasing me as to how could I jump to such conclusions. :)

The play was my second time and it felt better the second time but definitely not fresh. I got carried away the first time coz of a hunk and this time, the play tugged at my heart with better performances from the actor whom I had sidelined the first time. The play was at a famous theater near a location that was close to my heart for another reason. The location was a nice little coy lake where I had met my long lost friend after a decade. The meeting was a short and sweet one and a breather during my broiling hell time 4 years ago. I had met my schoolmate after a very long time and the whole memory of us catching up and hunting for a place to eat and then me returning home late since we had just not got enough of the time - all this was very fresh in my head.

To be able to go there again was a long time thought and it just happened without any planning after so many years. One part of my head was reliving the 4 year ago incident and another bit of me was sinking in the reality - The company was definitely getting mesmerized with me and I enjoyed the whole date oh so much. It ended in a one of the very interesting conversations I've had - "a lot can happen over coffee" explains it all, locale and context. Hmmm.... :)

P.S. A compliment that got me all conscious but yes, damn good.... "You look fair even in the dark" - ahem, it was meant on face-value and I guess it came out of the lighting effect in the theater and the mesmerizing feel. :D I was caught unaware for sure. :)

Migration....

I was reading about online migration from one of my new things at work. Made me think of how convenient it would be if it was possible for minds and not only storage systems.

Online migration means transferring your data from an old storage system to a new one if the old one stops serving its purpose due to overload or performance issues. Making that an analogy to the emotional context, I swear it is just not possible without killing your conscience.

My life now seems to be a little more spacious but then I sometimes land up thinking if the space is all worth the pain in the head. But the 6 year history was quirky in its own way with two years getting stepped down with another parallel circle. It remain history is its best worth forever - my prayer forever. Parallelism can exist in its own balanced comfortable distance without stepping on my toes or disappearing.

Work is vague and hectic in its way. I only want it to get clearer and lighter. I hope it does not numb me coz I am benumbed already anyway. I always believe there has to be a balance in life at work and personal front. I plead to the strength above to get me thro this phase and make work a smooth sweet ride forever...

Worst Easter gift....

The worst Easter gift I could give someone.... Sorry about it...

Read this somewhere - The flame of love is now just a cold loneliness. ~Uniek Swain

Whatsoever!

Why should it make a difference when somethings happen for no reason and has had no meaning whatsoever?

Why should it matter when good times were not completely good enough?

How would it be possible to compromise on somethings that are a part of you? Why should it even be considered genuine when even the mere communication channel was not clear? Is it not logically the best thing that the mere reason for your interest dies down with time and you are better off without it?

Masinagudi has its memories and now it jibes me without me in it. I can appease myself saying the last time was just the place and not the people completely anyway. But that reality and getting over feel is a little bitter medicine one has to swallow.

Only naive persons would not learn from experiences. In a way, Kate realizes the naivete is so similar to the naivete whom she desisted and kept in the distance of an acquaintance.

Leopold better be the almost opposite but a very understanding character! Get him to Kate sooooon!

Life!

Life by Paul Laurence Dunbar


A crust of bread and a corner to sleep in,
A minute to smile and an hour to weep in,
A pint of joy to a peck of trouble,
And never a laugh but the moans come double;
And that is life!

A crust and a corner that love makes precious,
With a smile to warm and the tears to refresh us;
And joy seems sweeter when cares come after,
And a moan is the finest of foils for laughter;
And that is life!


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Just what I was wondering how to write....... I want to be able to write such deep words.....

Longing

Longing
by Sara Teasdale



I am not sorry for my soul
That it must go unsatisfied,
For it can live a thousand times,
Eternity is deep and wide.

I am not sorry for my soul,
But oh, my body that must go
Back to a little drift of dust
Without the joy it longed to know.

I Am Not Yours

Found a beautiful poem by Sara Teasdale. This one reflects what I meant in my last blog. :)

I am not yours, not lost in you,
Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.

You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who long to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.

Oh plunge me deep in love, put out
My senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.

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Beauty in such words to describe what is on the mind.... Sigh.