Break ke baad....

This title is inspired after the to-be-released movie in the same name. The movie is about "space in relationships". ;)

Wrote a blog post on companionship some months ago and this blog post follows its heels in a short interval. Maybe not expected so soon or maybe this is the how the cycle of events leads two people in a relationship.

I do not mean to sound condescending but it is a tricky task to balance your space and your growing closeness with your partner. You grow and allow the relationship grow to make it a mutual long-term success. Sigh, it is a self-taught lesson with its own ups and downs. Or more of an eternally evolving realization.

JK and I are in the midst of this learning lesson. Atleast I know that it is happening between us. Working in the same place and being in a relationship that is maturing into marriage i.e. going into a long-term phase has its ups and downs.

Ups - I keep hearing that I would get to travel to work together post-marriage and the distance should not matter. :D Apart from that, its true that we get to meet every day and that should only strengthen the relationship for good in the long term. Also, work-wise, it might help us establish better contacts or updates on corporate news etc. Plus the understanding about work role increases which should help in reaching better compatibility in non-work front.

Downs - I somehow do not really acknowledge that working in the same place allows closeness to grow, given that JK and I are of different temperaments, sometimes stark opposite. Yet again, maybe the differences in our temperaments makes the balancing act trickier. Am more of an optimist but not overly into it and JK is more of a realist. There have been conversations wherein I have realized that we are of totally different opinions and the best way to come to terms is arrive at similar median ground or agree to disagree. Not an easy task always when it involves decision-making or sensitive issues, but then if you treat your partner as a friend, then things can get smooth.

For example, the latest weekend outing turned out to be sour though it came out of an eventful progress in the relationship - we got engaged. :) Ramanjaneya temple in Hanumanth Nagar has become one of my special haunts after this relationship progressed few steps ahead gradually and started getting serious on all personal fronts, keeping everyone happy and excited. JK takes time out of his weekend and plans for the visit as I wanted to go to the temple to say thanks to Mr. Hanuman. I look forward to it too and all goes well with good weather, a hectic car drive for JK, satisfying temple visit and a surprise long-time pending visit to Vidyarthi Bhavan.

Phew, my rating favors MTR any day more than VB. Time always being quicker than me runs and its now 7 pm. JK wants to rush home to be with his family and you can imagine what follows next. :)

Not that I am against him spending quality time with his aged parents, however I want to sneak in some more time with the "fiance" but looking at his exhausted state and restlessness about the 25 km back and forth drive, I bite my lips and somehow all his efforts do not console my growing anger or disappointment. It is a weekend after all and it should not hurt to keep looking at the watch. I can not justify his actions but I do feel that he is losing the romantic part of a relationship by getting so caught up in the traffic woes and time management. Like a 35 year old man who has been married for 2 years. I wonder if I am behaving like a teenager or starry-eyed early-20 blonde. I feel as if I am a normal bride-to-be. :) And I so wish I knew to drive a car and had one. I would definitely do more than empathising or complaining. Hmmm, sigh. I could feel these feelings brewing silently. As its my nature, I tried to divert my mind and appear normal. I guess I need to master that art.

The car drive on the way home to drop me is filled with awkward silences and JK gets a hint. Called me at late-night to check if all was fine and I spilt everything from my system. Am sure I was playfully rude but then I realised I have to cut down my dreamy courtship phase expectations and get grounded to match JK's realistic approach to balance his time with everyone around and understand his traffic woes much better than just empathizing.

The whole outing was very pleasant for the events but when the time crunch comes to the forefront, I only feel I should distance myself from JK to keep the balancing act going well. So, working in the same place does not really help all the way. Waiting for a divine intervention to change a few things to make me more peaceful or him more adventurous or the work life interesting for the better. Lets see.

Break ke baad indeed. :)